Updated: Mar 27, 2019
Last night Tiana and I were able to have a really great discussion around goals and realistic expectations of self.
Though she reached out and expressed that she was concerned about college, getting a better job and preparing for her future, I could see that the underlying emotion was feeling overwhelmed and we simply needed to set some tangible goals.
Before I go into what we practiced, I want to take the time to make a point here.
Though it’s really hard, allow your kids the ability to fall apart a little. Note that I didn’t say come undone, just...let the seams unravel a little. By doing this, they can learn the practice of being humble enough to seek guidance, and you can show them that doing so is always ok. This reinforces the idea that though they can makes choices, they don’t have to face decisions alone. They can gather advice, talk it out and make the move from there.
I encourage you to also take this opportunity to remind them that none of us have it figured out. I mean, honestly. I truly thought there was a magic age when being an adult would feel more... well.. adult. But much to my dismay, we are always learning. Take the time to remind your kids (and yourself) that none of us are perfect. I’m sure you have wonderful concrete examples of this. They will enjoy it, I promise.
Now, I will say that being intuitive helped me here but I will also say that your gift as a parent isn’t far off I’m sure. As I tuned in, I could feel Tiana’s energy was feeling spun out with a task list that seemed too far and wide to imagine, so I broke it into small sections for her. Feel free to practice this for yourself as well, and let me know what you think. Ready?
First, reflect on what your top three concerns are right now. The things growing heavy in your heart. Write them down.
Then, write down the top three things you would like to accomplish in the next year. (Usually these are correlated somehow, but writing it makes it visual and a visual reminder is important for many reasons..more on that another time)
Now write down three tangible things you can do short term to work towards the goal- keep it simple and attainable. The goal here is to identify smalls steps toward the goal.
Great, now reflect a little more and jot down what support you need to get these three things done.
Lastly, identify a time frame you can hold yourself accountable to for delivering these actions.
That’s it! Pretty simple right?!?
Listen, the idea is that when you start to boil down your goals into small, tangible tasks you see that there is work to do but you also begin to see that it is not impossible! Give yourself the time to complete thear things and give yourself the grace you need to move timing if you’re not feeling it. Everything is fluid. Just remember this commitment is to self, and you are top priority- keep focus!
Celebrate your successes and give yourself a pep talk when you feel your timing begin to slip- just don’t give up. Promise you won’t give up. Not for everyone else, but for you. Don’t give up.
In the end, what you create one day at a time, one task after another is investment into self dialogue and self-success. You will begin to see that you have carved out time, energy, and resources to make your dreams come true, and you deserve all the goodness your hard work earned you. Remember to thank the universe for supplying the days to complete these tasks, give yourself time to be grateful and affirm:
“I can and will do great things. I have the ability to take on these tasks one at a time. The universe is agreeing with my higher good, and will navigate obstacles for my learning and higher purpose. I am worthy of success. I am a legacy, I am a winner, and I am a gracious giver and receiver.”
-xoxo from tawn, with Love